I married my wife on July 13, 1974. We barely had the pot to piss in or the window to throw it out of. I came from a wealthy family and my wife from a poor family. My adopted parents hated my wife and did their damnedest to destroy my marriage. (Never worked.)Finances are probably the greatest cause of marriages falling apart than anything else, and I think it is probably higher than infidelity.Young couples do not stop to think their married life will have speed bumps and potholes. They want to believe their marriage should be based upon how much money they make. I feel sorry for them if they think that way.My wife and I were never wealthy. We lived paycheck to paycheck. We raised our children on what we had. My children seem to think they can draw from mommy and daddy and they got pissed off when we said NO.Our daughter got pregnant at 17 and had a little boy. He was our first grandchild. Soon we noticed he was not verbal. He was 2 when he was diagnosed as having ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Our daughter gave her mother and me Powers of Attorney over him because she did not want to deal with him. When he was 7 we discovered he was deaf. She immediately decided to put him up for adoption. We said NO. If she didn’t want him, then we would take him, and she gave us full-guardianship of him and gave up all rights to him. He is now 17, a junior in high school, and attends a great school for the deaf in Riverside, CA. After never being exposed to ASL, he is now about 85% fluent in it after 2 1/2 years. I am adopting him when he turns 18, in 2020.Now, to some that would have ended a marriage. Yet, it made my marriage to my wife stronger. We were doing what was right together. I’m not going to say our life was perfect, far from it. Yet, we knew the most important thing in our marriage, WAS our marriage. Nothing else mattered.If you have read many of my posts, I had to bury being gay for most of my life. My adopted mother viciously outed me to my wife, to destroy my marriage. My wife and I did have an argument over it. Yet, when she saw the scars on my body and understood I had never acted on it during our marriage, and I was not about to start, we worked through it. Now, in previous posts, some have asked about us having sex. My wife, after our children were born had PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease), it made it very painful for us to have sex. But marriage shouldn’t be based upon sex. Sex is only the icing on the cake.I was always faithful to my wife, no matter what. In 2022. my wife developed severe wounds on her feet. Mind you, she was a diabetic. For the next 4 years, I would learn from a wound care facility on how to bind her wounds between clinic visits. I stayed with her through everything. Even when her wounds spread up her legs and we battled MRSA and flesh-eating disease. She was in horrible pain. I held her when she cried. I learned how to clean her up when she soiled herself.On Feb. 3, 2022. I awoke to hear her breathing change. I cradled her in my arms, caressed her face, told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her. I got to kiss her one last time while she was alive. She died at 9:54 a.m. I had been married to this beautiful lady for 40 years, 9 months and 19 days.In all that time, I never broke one vow. I was with her through everything, and I would do it again. After she died, I did openly come out gay. Even so, I have no one in my life right now. I’m still hurting from her death.Do you want to know how to keep a marriage together? Realize that money is not everything. You work together. If you hit a financial pothole, you do what you can, with what you have, and you start filling in the hole.There is the story of the old farmer whose mule fell down a well. He figured the mule was going to die so he started filling in the well with dirt. With every bucket of earth, the mule would tamp it down with his feet. Soon the dirt was high enough he could jump out.Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter said: “When life seems the most dark, one only must remember to turn on the light.”That is my philosophy for how to keep a marriage together.